5 Surprising Ways To Overcome Your Addiction To Social Media
The other day, I had dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.
I had been really looking forward to it, and simply couldn’t wait to catch up with her.
When we finally sat down after placing our order, the first thing that my friend did was to get her phone out of her bag, and check her messages.
She just had to “send that one quick message”, she told me.
I didn’t think much about it.
After the second, third, fourth time of her just checking that one quick message, I’d had enough.
I wish I could say that I just left, and did something more meaningful than waiting for my friend to spend time with me, but I didn’t.
I just kept waiting for her.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough of getting no response to a simple question from my 9-year old niece, because she’s on her phone.
I’ve had enough of freaking out when I realise that I forgot my phone at home.
In short, I’ve had enough of our collective addiction to our phones.
But here’s the thing: I run an online business, and therefore spend quite a bit of time in front of a screen. I’ve had to find ways to balance my work with the rest of my life.
So here’s a list of 5 surprising solutions I’ve found to overcome my own addiction to social media, and to my smartphone in general.
I hope they help you to remember what life was like before — well, before the Internet.
Tip #1 — Decide that you want to do something about your addiction to social media
You might be thinking that I’m exaggerating when I use the word ‘addiction.’
I’m not.
Look back at what you’ve done today, and consider the number of times you’ve picked up your phone because you were bored,
because you wanted to look up the meaning of the word ‘visceral’ and somehow got sucked down the YouTube hole,
because you wanted a distraction,
because you felt like procrastinating,
because you just needed to relax,
because you simply felt curious?
Consider how much information you’ve absorbed whilst scrolling through your Instagram feed; how much of it can you remember now?
I will give you the tips that have helped me find balance in my relationship with social media, but here’s the thing: you’ve got to decide that you want to do something about your addiction to social media.
And that decision has got to be a strong, unwavering decision.
Tip #2 — Put your phone on silent
Most of my friends are extremely annoyed with me because I never answer the phone.
I tried, I really did.
I tried to keep my phone on loud all day, and answer the phone as soon as it rings — but I just can’t.
I absolutely hate being interrupted by my phone when I’m in the middle of something important, like eating my breakfast, talking to a client or reading a book.
It is simply ridiculous that people should expect you to answer their text, message or email straight away, or at least within the next 24 hours.
What you need to do:
- Decide when you want to answer the phone. Perhaps, like me, you’ll decide to always have your phone on silent, and respond to calls when you’re good and ready. Perhaps you can have your phone on loud in the morning only. In short, find a rhythm that works for you.
- Schedule as many calls as possible in advance, at a time that suits you.
- Notify the people that call you often of your new schedule.
- When your phone is on silent, place your phone face down, in a drawer or in a different room, and forget about it.
Tip #3 — Turn your notifications off
How many notifications tell you something that you actually need or want to know?
The only notifications I receive now are from my bank, and when somebody calls or texts me — although you’ll remember that my phone is always on silent anyway.
The rest of the apps on my phone are not allowed to send me notifications at all, ever.
This means that I’m more in control of my time.
This also means that when I choose to be on my phone, I’m no longer distracted by those annoying red notification bubbles.
What you need to do:
- Turn off all notifications (in your settings), except perhaps the ones that you truly care about.
- Consider the apps you have on your phone. Which ones are you actively using? If you haven’t used them in the past month, delete them. If you need them, you can always download them again.
- Sort the apps that you’re choosing to keep in specific folders. This article will help.
Tip #4 — Turn off your Facebook newsfeed
Why do you start to scroll?
Do you feel bored, like you need a distraction from something stressful, like you need a break, like you just want to check whether your high school friend is now single?
Understanding this will help you to understand what you’re getting from the endless scrolling, and how you can get that from doing something else.
For instance, I will often plonk myself on the bed after a big day, pick up my phone, and lose myself in the scrolling for a while.
This is a chance for me to stop doing and thinking.
It works pretty well, but I don’t like how difficult it is for me to actually stop the scrolling.
Therefore, I need to find something else to (figuratively) turn off my brain, like going for a walk, baking a batch of cookies or closing my eyes, and focusing on the rhythm of my breath for a little while.
Also, did you know that you can turn off your Facebook newsfeed in Google Chrome? It’s been a lifesaver for me.
What you need to do:
- Understand what you get from the scrolling. What does it do for you?How can you get that by doing something else?
- Download the Chrome extension for FB. I haven’t found a way to do this on my iPhone yet. Please let me know if you have!
Tip #5 — Unsubscribe and unfollow
For the past 2 months, I have spent a few minutes every day unsubscribing from various newsletters.
I’ll check my emails in the morning, identify emails that annoy me or that I never open, and click the ‘Unsubscribe’ button at the bottom.
My inbox is so much lighter now, and I now only receive emails that are important to me, that I actually want to receive.
What you need to do now:
- Go to your inbox, and look through the last 20 emails that you have received. Unsubscribe from all newsletters and promotional emails that you never bother to open (even if you tell yourself that you will definitely open them later), or that you just don’t need.
- If you need to do a big cleanup, you can download the Cleanfox app. It will tell you what websites are currently holding your email address in their database. You can unsubscribe straight from the app. It is a very satisfying process!
- Do this everyday, until you receive only emails that are meaningful or important to you.
- Do the same with your social media apps. Start with one app, and unfriend/unfollow mercilessly. In my own Facebook feed, I only see posts that inspire me, notably my mentor’s and my shepherd friend who posts the most beautiful photos of her life in the mountains.
You have a life beyond your phone.
You know, I feel so frustrated whenever I take the time to go and visit a relation, and they hear that annoying ‘ding’, and they just check their phone, because it might be important or interesting.
(It never really is.)
I took the time to visit them, because I want to hear what’s been going in their life, and I want to have a meaningful conversation with them.
I certainly do not want to watch cat videos with them.
Think about this: how long ago did you get your first smartphone?
How has your life changed since?
Can you remember what you used to do with your time before?
Most of all, can you remember how it felt to be fully in control of your time and energy?
Can you remember how freeing it was (even if we didn’t realise it at the time) to not have so much information being constantly fed into our brains?
